evil is always lurking!

Why do I do the things I don't want to do?? I am tired of letting evil beat me here. I feel like nothing is ever going to change! Will it ever go away. All I do is keep hurting my wife and make her upset. Why do I keep giving in. It's not even like I am trying to numb out either. I feel like I'm sick and perverted and that is all I ever will be. I wouldn't even blame my wife for not wanting to be with me. I want this addiction to go away forever. I am tired!! Why did I ever have to be exposed to it when I was young? Why can't I leave it and not go back to it. I wonder why God hasn't allowed me to experience freedom from my addiction to pornography? Will I get to experience that? I want to! Please forgive me Lord. I know you have but a lot of times it doesn't feel that way.
Help me Lord. Bind up evil and put him where he belongs. May I continue to lean on you for comfort and safety. I am sorry for the pain that I cause you my darling wife. I don't want to hurt you and I don't want to keep things from you!!! Thank you for walking in this with me and for helping me.